The 2013 Academy Awards ceremony was a somewhat warped success last Sunday dependant on the type of experience you hoped to take from it. For those of you who respect the Hollywood elite and their night of acknowledgment, you might have taken exception to the host building child rape scenarios or listing where your leading ladies boobies might be seen.
Certainly Charlize Theron and Jennifer Lawrence appeared mortified at the reference to their nude scenes. There was fair warning, however, and if attention was the object, the organisers certainly achieved that by appointing brash Family Guy comedian Seth MacFarlane to deliver his personal brand of controversial wit.
MacFarlane told a CNN reporter in the build up to the event, “It’s a tougher room, it’s a very thin skinned room. It’s a really bad match. I’m the wrong guy to do this.” In fact, it has emerged that the tough room was a staged one, with audience reactions being largely scripted – including the Theron and Lawrence reactions, which were pre-recorded for inclusion with the performance segment, leaving concerned fans somewhat red faced.
If poking fun and wobbly bits are more your viewing style, though, you were fairly well catered for this year. There was plenty of naughtiness in general to lighten the mood throughout the night, which saw Catherine Zeta Jones perform ‘All That Jazz’ for the 10-year anniversary of Chicago winning best picture, and near-miss wardrobe malfunctions aplenty courtesy of Heidi Klum and Brandi Glanville. One of the perks Academy Award nominees and presenters look forward to each year are the VIP gift bags, which are the ultimate product placement for brands looking to get their upscale goodies into the hands of A-list stars. This year, the female gift bags – estimated to be worth a staggering £30,000 – included a few kinky treats, including VIP membership card for one free year of membership to Sssh.com, and The Screaming O’s hugely popular Sexy Mirror Compact with its super-powered hidden bullet.
Porn icon Ron Jeremy even got a mention, when host Seth MacFarlane quipped in his opening monologue that even he had been a more likely candidate for the role. “I honestly can’t believe I’m here,” MacFarlane said, adding, “It’s an honour that everyone else said ‘no.’ From Oprah all the way to Ron Jeremy.” You might be forgiven for thinking it was an unpopular job. Steve Martin seemed to agree with his tweet of “The pay is the same” in response to a question on twitter about whether it is easier tweeting the Oscars or hosting them.
All in all, the Academy Awards of 2013 were a bit of a miss-fire. They’re evidently looking to spice things up with a strange medley of staged drama and smut. Next year, perhaps they could try a little harder to convince Ron Jeremy to host it and raise the tone a little.
